6 Habits of Naturally Happy People

shutterstock_220193047Everyone has ‘one of those days!’

You know, when everything seems to go wrong.  No matter what you try to do to change your mood and get out of a funk, it just seems impossible.

The thing is, it is possible to limit those days to the bare minimum and take action to ensure that most of your days are full of happiness and contentment.

This is not down to luck, circumstances or anything else that is beyond your control.

Of course, things will conspire against you from time-to-time.  That’s just life!

But… and here’s the key…

You can follow 6 simple habits everyday that will make sure you deal with any setback and get your life back on track!

These 6 simple habits will allow you to remain firmly in the driving seat, create your own happy days and not allow circumstances to dictate your mood ever again.

1. Keep Cool

Let’s face it – life can make us mad!  It is very easy to feel frustrated, angry and resentful.  The first step to taking control and regaining happiness is to say calm and relaxed.  You can’t always control how other people behave, but you absolutely can control how you decide to respond.

Take a deep breath, walk away or just smile to yourself and think ‘I’m above this… I will not let this person or situation decide how I am going to feel’.

It’s not easy to start with, but over time you will find that you are able to take control and the best way to start is simple … just begin by noticing when you feel angry, resentful or frustrated.  Awareness if truly the first powerful step to self-control.

2. Switch Off

One of the biggest barriers to genuine happiness in the modern world is the constant bombardment of stimulation we face every day.  Everyone wants a piece of you!  From family and work commitments, keeping up with social media, television, hobbies, developing yourself and looking good, it’s like you are always ‘switched on’.

Everyone needs to learn when enough is enough.  A great strategy is to have times when you switch off all devices (TV, pc, laptop, tablet, phone etc) and just sit and breathe.  Maybe listen to some calming music and just focus on your breathing to regain some peace of mind and clarity.

It can be as simple as a ten minute walk in the open air where no one can contact you (phone off) and all you hear is your own footfall as you gently stroll along and let it all go.

3. Watch Your Words

This is a big one!  Try to catch your language and check whether you are being positive or not.  If you talk like the glass is half-full, then that’s what you will experience.  Many people have a ‘limited’ mindset where they see only problems and difficulties and what will go wrong.

‘Listen’ to what you think and say … are you expecting the worst?  Do you talk about things being huge difficulties or ‘nightmares’ or do you see them as challenges and opportunities?  The words you use (either in your own head or out loud) will shape how you perceive the world around you.

Choose a positive ‘growth’ mindset where you see the potential in everything and enjoy the playfulness in every challenge you encounter!

4. Visualise Success

Half the battle of being happy is imagining that it is possible to start with!

So many people just move from thing to another with no road map for a happy life.  If you have no destination in mind, then you’ll end up anywhere.  It is important to set clear goals and then imagine what it will feel like when you achieve them.

Not only does this program your mind for success, but you actually get greater motivation by being deeply inspired to go after you goals with real enthusiasm.  If you daydream and focus on what achieving your goals will feel like and mean to you, then you will totally ‘buy into’ them and you will be much more likely to follow through.

Not only that, but each time you focus on your dreams and imagine succeeding, you are mentally preparing yourself (as well as enjoying a reality ‘holiday’ that helps you rejuvenate as well as making  the dream seem completely real to you!)

5. Connect With Others

It can be lonely trying to make your way through life without a helping hand.  This is not about relying on others or refusing to take ownership.

The truth is, we all need to feel connected to others.  Whether that is a life partner, friends, family or your community, humans need to feel anchored in the safe harbor of someone else’s support and love.  It gives it all meaning, otherwise what is it all for?

Make sure you make time for people who inspire you and give you energy.  We all need friends who just know how to encourage us and pick us up when we feel down.  Spend time with these people and you will feel happier.

Just make sure you avoid the ‘negative ninnies’ in your life who drain you.  You know these people – they offer you nothing and drain the life and energy from the room.  Avoid them, cut them off and you will feel much better for it!

6. Be Playful

The last point is my favourite!  Sometimes we all act like life is some super-serious struggle.  It really doesn’t have to be like that.  We are meant to be light-hearted creatures who are creative, easy-going and fun to be with.

Keep asking yourself … why be glum?  What’s to worry about really? What great things are going to happen to me today?  Instead just think …

Get ready world, ’cause I’m coming NOW! I’m alive, the world is magical, now let’s dance!

Laugh in the rain, smile at the people you meet and skip along the road.  It’s all good, my friend!  We are alive and the world is our playground.  What shall we be today?

 

If you allow these 6 habits to become part of your day-to-day thinking, feeling and acting, then you will be naturally so much happier than you are now.  They are simple, but really powerful habits that can totally change you life and unlock your natural happiness.  So, start taking action today!

 

Are you ready to conquer stress?

Tuesday 13th October is the day I launch my new anti-stress program!

I’m very excited (as I’m sure you can tell!)

The thing is, it has taken me the best part of two months to pull this audio training together.  I’ve included everything I have learned so far in my journey to a healthier, happier and more authentic me.

It’s called… ICE My Stress (ICE is for Identify. Control. Eliminate.)

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That’s exactly what I believe you can do if you take action and follow some key principles and strategies.  I have been really delighted with the feedback I have had so far.

I promised ages ago that I would email my loyal followers and let them know that it is available and on sale. You can take a look at www.icemystress.com

Take a look soon and you will be able to get hold of this 3 part audio training program while it is at the lowest price it will be – just $7.

I am also including some help sheets and worksheets to make it even easier for you to get stress under control in your life.

This was absolutely the very first step I made when I decided to go on this journey to a better life and it a crucial way to begin to improve everything.

Once the cloud of stress is no longer hanging over you, then literally anything feels possible and your outlook becomes so much more positive.

I remember feeling so out of control, pressured and almost in despair when I was a busy school teacher, but I am so glad I learned these simple strategies s it has made all the difference.

I still have my moments, of course.  Who doesn’t? But the difference is that I know how to deal with my feelings and return to being calm and in control.

Anyway, this is not a hard sell.  If you think it might be of use then take a look, but it’s totally up to you.  I certainly don’t want to add to your stress!

Talk soon,

Tony

 

What really makes a difference?

Lots of people have asked me the same question:

Vector set of various bubbles for speech

“What do you think really makes a difference?”

When I’ve managed to unpick exactly what they mean, it always comes down to the same thing.  They want to know if there is one simple thing that people can focus on to achieve lasting change.

The thing is… I think there is.  (only, actually there are three things!)

In making the positive changes I have made in my life so far I have realised that it is all about taking 100% ownership of your own life that leads to the biggest breakthroughs.

To my mind, the three key elements that you need to be fully in control of are:

Your thoughts

Your choices

Your language

I believe that it really is that simple.  In order to effect genuine lasting change in your life it is essential that you can control all three and then you will achieve all you desire.

Let’s take each one in turn and I’ll explain exactly why these are so crucial and what you can do to make them work for you.

Your Thoughts

It’s been said that our thoughts form the universe and that’s absolutely true.  Look around you and everything that has been created by humanity has first existed as a thought in somebody’s head.  This is why we all need to pay close attention to the quality of our thinking.

The English author, comic actor and wit, Stephen Fry tells the story of how he spent much of his teenage years moping around feeling that his best years were already behind him.  In fact he used to write notes saying “His whole life stretched out gloriously behind him” and this left him miserable, direction-less and confused.

To my mind, although this is an extreme version, I believe we are all guilty of a similar level of negative self-talk.  I spent many years in my life telling myself (in thoughts!) that I was unworthy, useless and uninteresting.  The reality I imagined is one that I started to create in the real world,

I looked for evidence that would agree with these beliefs and ignored anything that didn’t.  It made no difference how many times friends were positive about me, I only believed the story in my mind that I had constructed and felt wedded to.

Monitor your thoughts!

Are you being negative or unreasonable?

Could you think more helpfully?

Your Choices

The next area of life that can trap you and leave you feeling dissatisfied is the choices you make.  In a very profound way, everything that you now have in your life is a result of the choices you have made.

So one way to absolutely improve how your life turns out is to make better choices.

The key is to ask yourself, “Is this going to serve my long-term aims, or is it just a short-term gain with negative long-term consequences?”

Seriously, many of the things in your life that you are unsatisfied with are likely to be the result of unhelpful choices you made in the past.

So start today by thinking carefully about your actions.

Your Language

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) to the rescue!

In a nutshell, if you ‘listen’ to the language you use day-to-day, you will soon spot examples of words and phrases that do not serve you well.

You see, there is no point monitoring your thoughts and choices, if your words give you away!

Be careful of catastrophising (always seeing the absolute worst!) and look out for words that don’t give you any room to breathe.

Examples:

I ALWAYS fail!

You MUST do this…

I can NEVER manage my time.

These ‘all-or-nothing’ words tie you up in knots.  Keep your words positive and hopeful!

So, watch your thoughts, your choices and your words!

*** UPDATE – I am going to post again in the next few days with details about my two brand new products – ICE My Stress and Audio Life Coach.  I’m very excited to be about to launch these! ***

Cheers for now,

Tony

 

Holiday Helps To Reboot

Beach fun couple travel - woman taking photo

I’ve just got back from my summer holiday and I feel ready to really make the most of the rest of the year.

I know lots of people return from their vacation feeling so stressed that they need another one just to recover!

But, to me… as well as seeing a different place and sampling another culture, I totally believe in rest, relaxation and reflection.

And it’s the last of these, reflection. that I want to talk about today.

 

When you have a few days away from the usual day-to-day stresses and challenges of modern life, it gives you time to reflect on what is really important and allows you to see things clearly.

It’s as if you gain a totally new perspective on your life by being able to step out of it for a time.

Here’s what I have realised:

1.  I have had a very productive year so far (having started some fundamental changes in my life and made genuine progress)

2.  I need to keep up what I am doing to really embed the changes I have made and continue the momentum I have

3.  September will be a big month for me – as I launch not one but two self-development training programs that I hope will help other people to enjoy the changes I have already experienced

4.  The rest of this year is going to be about just three things: helping others, getting as healthy and fit as possible and continuing to be as positive and determined to live a better life as possible.

 

I am particularly pleased with the insights I gained when thinking about number 4.  It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the complexity of the modern world and not see things clearly.  But when I sat in the sun and really reflected, it seemed to me so clear that those three things are all that really matter to me.

 

As a simple equation it looks like this:

 

2015 = helping others + health + positivity

 

What I love about such a simple view of life is that it cuts out all the BS and reduces it to a simple and easy to follow set of fundamentals that make every decision so much easier.

Now I just ask myself:  Does the thing I’m thinking of doing bring me closer to my 3 key aims?

Anything that doesn’t fit is quickly discarded or avoided.

Honestly, this simple Life Equation has really helped me!

 

Now, going back to my 4 thoughts…

I will be back on this blog very soon (early September) to give you more details about my two training programs.

I am very excited about these as I believe I will be able to offer real, step-by-step training that will help people to make fundamental changes in their lives.

I promise to share this here with you first before anyone else gets a look in.  I am very lucky to have so many loyal readers of this blog, and I want to thank you all for the overwhelming amount of support and interest I have had from people offering to review these products for me.

Thank you so much for all the emails and kind words.  I have now selected a small number of people to have early-bird access to the training and contacted them to let them know.  I just wanted to thank all of you who offered to help.

Not only will I let you all have the opportunity to get hold of this training as soon as it is finished, but as a loyal blog reader, I will give you the chance to get it at a special low launch rate.

I’ll be back very soon in September to give you all the details!

 

I hope you had a great vacation and have managed to gain clarity on the rest of this year in your own life.

 

Please comment below and let me know your own ‘Life Equation’!

 

Cheers for now,

 

Tony

 

Learn by teaching

I spoke in my last blog post about how I am planning to create some products that I hope will help people to take control of their lives.

The first one is well on its way and is going to be all about how to handle stress.

This is not a sales page though! You can have a look at my sales page another day if you like. But right now, I’d rather talk to you about why helping others is the best way to help yourself.

You see, aside from the warm fuzzy feeling you get from feeling like you have made a difference to someone – and that is a genuinely great feeling – there is a slightly more selfish reason …

When you explain how to do something to someone else, you need to be 100% clear about what you are talking about, so that you can convey your meaning clearly.

This means that you tend to get to grips with your subject matter in a much more comprehensive and deep way.

I knew this from my experience as an educator. There have been many times when I have had to explain something to someone and I haven’t really understood the concept fully myself, but by the very act of preparing to teach and then doing it, I managed to gain a really sound grasp.

I think this is something that everyone should do, to … if you like, ‘trick’ your brain into learning.

One approach is to actually make sure that you do have to explain what you are learning to someone else. For example, if you are learning a new skill, then why not arrange to teach it to someone else as you are learning.

After everything you learn, meet up with your ‘pupil’ and explain all you have uncovered as clearly as possible. And I pretty much guarantee that you will leave with a much clearer grasp of the subject than you had before you explained it.

This is definitely a great time to be trying to learn (and teach), as we have never had such an abundance of information.

Now that has its own challenges of course – I expect you, too have suffered at some point in your life from Information Overload?

I’m sure you can recognise the signs … going round and round in circles, unsure what to do next, reading more informatioon to try to make sense of the huge amount you already have …

And then realising that actually MORE information is actually not always helpful. Many of us are paralysed by not being able to see the wood for the trees, not being able to distill the important elements from a problem, or worse, not being able to even understand the problem we have – never mind actually solve it!

This is why having the skill of being able to focus on what is important and find that information is such a great life skill. You would think that this would be taught really well at school and collage, but in my experinece that is not always the case.

In fact, if we are honest, we could all do with improving our ability in this area. So, as well as telling you all next week about my new anti-stress program (which you might be interested in ?!), I am also going to write a blog post all about getting clarity and focus on a subject so that you can learn it.

This is a great skill to have and you will be able to apply it in a number of different way:

1. Learn a new subject (a hobby, past-time or new language)
2. Improve your productivityy at work or in your business
3. Make yourself more marketable (to gain a promotion or new job)
4. Be a more knowledgeable, cultured individual (improve your relationships)
5. Know how to handle complexity (and reduce stress in your life)

Just to give you an insight into how developing this skill has helped me, I would like to share with you something that has already paid for itself.

When I decided that I wanted to write a blog I knew next to nothing about how to set one up. I realised that I had two options – 1. Learn how to do it, and 2. Pay someone to do it for me.

To start off with I chose to pay someone to do it, and that was a mistake. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t outsource tasks that you can’t do well or that will free up more time for you to concentrate on what you do best.

It’s just that in this case, getting someone else to do ot for me was a short cut to the outcome I wanted but without me gaining the skills I would need longer-term.

If you have a blog of your own, then you will know what I mean. You can get it set up how you think you will want it to look, but then you will have no idea how to change it so that it evolves to meet your developing needs over time.

So, in the end I did learn how to do it. It wasn’t easy, but I now know how to change it and what is going on ‘behind the scenes’. This knowledge has already helped me with other projects I’m involved with, so it absolutely was time well-spent in my mind.

But the best outcome of all, is the knowledge that I have learned a new, transferable skill and that I am continuing to grow as a person.

To me, that knowledge is worth all of the struggles and frustration.

I’d love to hear how you deal with Information Overload. What do you do when you have too many options? How do you decide what to focus on?

Also, please let me know if you think that some training on getting focused and clear on how to learn a new skill is something you would be interested in. Please comment below.

Cheers for now,

Tony