6 Habits of Naturally Happy People

shutterstock_220193047Everyone has ‘one of those days!’

You know, when everything seems to go wrong.  No matter what you try to do to change your mood and get out of a funk, it just seems impossible.

The thing is, it is possible to limit those days to the bare minimum and take action to ensure that most of your days are full of happiness and contentment.

This is not down to luck, circumstances or anything else that is beyond your control.

Of course, things will conspire against you from time-to-time.  That’s just life!

But… and here’s the key…

You can follow 6 simple habits everyday that will make sure you deal with any setback and get your life back on track!

These 6 simple habits will allow you to remain firmly in the driving seat, create your own happy days and not allow circumstances to dictate your mood ever again.

1. Keep Cool

Let’s face it – life can make us mad!  It is very easy to feel frustrated, angry and resentful.  The first step to taking control and regaining happiness is to say calm and relaxed.  You can’t always control how other people behave, but you absolutely can control how you decide to respond.

Take a deep breath, walk away or just smile to yourself and think ‘I’m above this… I will not let this person or situation decide how I am going to feel’.

It’s not easy to start with, but over time you will find that you are able to take control and the best way to start is simple … just begin by noticing when you feel angry, resentful or frustrated.  Awareness if truly the first powerful step to self-control.

2. Switch Off

One of the biggest barriers to genuine happiness in the modern world is the constant bombardment of stimulation we face every day.  Everyone wants a piece of you!  From family and work commitments, keeping up with social media, television, hobbies, developing yourself and looking good, it’s like you are always ‘switched on’.

Everyone needs to learn when enough is enough.  A great strategy is to have times when you switch off all devices (TV, pc, laptop, tablet, phone etc) and just sit and breathe.  Maybe listen to some calming music and just focus on your breathing to regain some peace of mind and clarity.

It can be as simple as a ten minute walk in the open air where no one can contact you (phone off) and all you hear is your own footfall as you gently stroll along and let it all go.

3. Watch Your Words

This is a big one!  Try to catch your language and check whether you are being positive or not.  If you talk like the glass is half-full, then that’s what you will experience.  Many people have a ‘limited’ mindset where they see only problems and difficulties and what will go wrong.

‘Listen’ to what you think and say … are you expecting the worst?  Do you talk about things being huge difficulties or ‘nightmares’ or do you see them as challenges and opportunities?  The words you use (either in your own head or out loud) will shape how you perceive the world around you.

Choose a positive ‘growth’ mindset where you see the potential in everything and enjoy the playfulness in every challenge you encounter!

4. Visualise Success

Half the battle of being happy is imagining that it is possible to start with!

So many people just move from thing to another with no road map for a happy life.  If you have no destination in mind, then you’ll end up anywhere.  It is important to set clear goals and then imagine what it will feel like when you achieve them.

Not only does this program your mind for success, but you actually get greater motivation by being deeply inspired to go after you goals with real enthusiasm.  If you daydream and focus on what achieving your goals will feel like and mean to you, then you will totally ‘buy into’ them and you will be much more likely to follow through.

Not only that, but each time you focus on your dreams and imagine succeeding, you are mentally preparing yourself (as well as enjoying a reality ‘holiday’ that helps you rejuvenate as well as making  the dream seem completely real to you!)

5. Connect With Others

It can be lonely trying to make your way through life without a helping hand.  This is not about relying on others or refusing to take ownership.

The truth is, we all need to feel connected to others.  Whether that is a life partner, friends, family or your community, humans need to feel anchored in the safe harbor of someone else’s support and love.  It gives it all meaning, otherwise what is it all for?

Make sure you make time for people who inspire you and give you energy.  We all need friends who just know how to encourage us and pick us up when we feel down.  Spend time with these people and you will feel happier.

Just make sure you avoid the ‘negative ninnies’ in your life who drain you.  You know these people – they offer you nothing and drain the life and energy from the room.  Avoid them, cut them off and you will feel much better for it!

6. Be Playful

The last point is my favourite!  Sometimes we all act like life is some super-serious struggle.  It really doesn’t have to be like that.  We are meant to be light-hearted creatures who are creative, easy-going and fun to be with.

Keep asking yourself … why be glum?  What’s to worry about really? What great things are going to happen to me today?  Instead just think …

Get ready world, ’cause I’m coming NOW! I’m alive, the world is magical, now let’s dance!

Laugh in the rain, smile at the people you meet and skip along the road.  It’s all good, my friend!  We are alive and the world is our playground.  What shall we be today?

 

If you allow these 6 habits to become part of your day-to-day thinking, feeling and acting, then you will be naturally so much happier than you are now.  They are simple, but really powerful habits that can totally change you life and unlock your natural happiness.  So, start taking action today!

 

What really makes a difference?

Lots of people have asked me the same question:

Vector set of various bubbles for speech

“What do you think really makes a difference?”

When I’ve managed to unpick exactly what they mean, it always comes down to the same thing.  They want to know if there is one simple thing that people can focus on to achieve lasting change.

The thing is… I think there is.  (only, actually there are three things!)

In making the positive changes I have made in my life so far I have realised that it is all about taking 100% ownership of your own life that leads to the biggest breakthroughs.

To my mind, the three key elements that you need to be fully in control of are:

Your thoughts

Your choices

Your language

I believe that it really is that simple.  In order to effect genuine lasting change in your life it is essential that you can control all three and then you will achieve all you desire.

Let’s take each one in turn and I’ll explain exactly why these are so crucial and what you can do to make them work for you.

Your Thoughts

It’s been said that our thoughts form the universe and that’s absolutely true.  Look around you and everything that has been created by humanity has first existed as a thought in somebody’s head.  This is why we all need to pay close attention to the quality of our thinking.

The English author, comic actor and wit, Stephen Fry tells the story of how he spent much of his teenage years moping around feeling that his best years were already behind him.  In fact he used to write notes saying “His whole life stretched out gloriously behind him” and this left him miserable, direction-less and confused.

To my mind, although this is an extreme version, I believe we are all guilty of a similar level of negative self-talk.  I spent many years in my life telling myself (in thoughts!) that I was unworthy, useless and uninteresting.  The reality I imagined is one that I started to create in the real world,

I looked for evidence that would agree with these beliefs and ignored anything that didn’t.  It made no difference how many times friends were positive about me, I only believed the story in my mind that I had constructed and felt wedded to.

Monitor your thoughts!

Are you being negative or unreasonable?

Could you think more helpfully?

Your Choices

The next area of life that can trap you and leave you feeling dissatisfied is the choices you make.  In a very profound way, everything that you now have in your life is a result of the choices you have made.

So one way to absolutely improve how your life turns out is to make better choices.

The key is to ask yourself, “Is this going to serve my long-term aims, or is it just a short-term gain with negative long-term consequences?”

Seriously, many of the things in your life that you are unsatisfied with are likely to be the result of unhelpful choices you made in the past.

So start today by thinking carefully about your actions.

Your Language

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) to the rescue!

In a nutshell, if you ‘listen’ to the language you use day-to-day, you will soon spot examples of words and phrases that do not serve you well.

You see, there is no point monitoring your thoughts and choices, if your words give you away!

Be careful of catastrophising (always seeing the absolute worst!) and look out for words that don’t give you any room to breathe.

Examples:

I ALWAYS fail!

You MUST do this…

I can NEVER manage my time.

These ‘all-or-nothing’ words tie you up in knots.  Keep your words positive and hopeful!

So, watch your thoughts, your choices and your words!

*** UPDATE – I am going to post again in the next few days with details about my two brand new products – ICE My Stress and Audio Life Coach.  I’m very excited to be about to launch these! ***

Cheers for now,

Tony

 

Learn by teaching

I spoke in my last blog post about how I am planning to create some products that I hope will help people to take control of their lives.

The first one is well on its way and is going to be all about how to handle stress.

This is not a sales page though! You can have a look at my sales page another day if you like. But right now, I’d rather talk to you about why helping others is the best way to help yourself.

You see, aside from the warm fuzzy feeling you get from feeling like you have made a difference to someone – and that is a genuinely great feeling – there is a slightly more selfish reason …

When you explain how to do something to someone else, you need to be 100% clear about what you are talking about, so that you can convey your meaning clearly.

This means that you tend to get to grips with your subject matter in a much more comprehensive and deep way.

I knew this from my experience as an educator. There have been many times when I have had to explain something to someone and I haven’t really understood the concept fully myself, but by the very act of preparing to teach and then doing it, I managed to gain a really sound grasp.

I think this is something that everyone should do, to … if you like, ‘trick’ your brain into learning.

One approach is to actually make sure that you do have to explain what you are learning to someone else. For example, if you are learning a new skill, then why not arrange to teach it to someone else as you are learning.

After everything you learn, meet up with your ‘pupil’ and explain all you have uncovered as clearly as possible. And I pretty much guarantee that you will leave with a much clearer grasp of the subject than you had before you explained it.

This is definitely a great time to be trying to learn (and teach), as we have never had such an abundance of information.

Now that has its own challenges of course – I expect you, too have suffered at some point in your life from Information Overload?

I’m sure you can recognise the signs … going round and round in circles, unsure what to do next, reading more informatioon to try to make sense of the huge amount you already have …

And then realising that actually MORE information is actually not always helpful. Many of us are paralysed by not being able to see the wood for the trees, not being able to distill the important elements from a problem, or worse, not being able to even understand the problem we have – never mind actually solve it!

This is why having the skill of being able to focus on what is important and find that information is such a great life skill. You would think that this would be taught really well at school and collage, but in my experinece that is not always the case.

In fact, if we are honest, we could all do with improving our ability in this area. So, as well as telling you all next week about my new anti-stress program (which you might be interested in ?!), I am also going to write a blog post all about getting clarity and focus on a subject so that you can learn it.

This is a great skill to have and you will be able to apply it in a number of different way:

1. Learn a new subject (a hobby, past-time or new language)
2. Improve your productivityy at work or in your business
3. Make yourself more marketable (to gain a promotion or new job)
4. Be a more knowledgeable, cultured individual (improve your relationships)
5. Know how to handle complexity (and reduce stress in your life)

Just to give you an insight into how developing this skill has helped me, I would like to share with you something that has already paid for itself.

When I decided that I wanted to write a blog I knew next to nothing about how to set one up. I realised that I had two options – 1. Learn how to do it, and 2. Pay someone to do it for me.

To start off with I chose to pay someone to do it, and that was a mistake. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t outsource tasks that you can’t do well or that will free up more time for you to concentrate on what you do best.

It’s just that in this case, getting someone else to do ot for me was a short cut to the outcome I wanted but without me gaining the skills I would need longer-term.

If you have a blog of your own, then you will know what I mean. You can get it set up how you think you will want it to look, but then you will have no idea how to change it so that it evolves to meet your developing needs over time.

So, in the end I did learn how to do it. It wasn’t easy, but I now know how to change it and what is going on ‘behind the scenes’. This knowledge has already helped me with other projects I’m involved with, so it absolutely was time well-spent in my mind.

But the best outcome of all, is the knowledge that I have learned a new, transferable skill and that I am continuing to grow as a person.

To me, that knowledge is worth all of the struggles and frustration.

I’d love to hear how you deal with Information Overload. What do you do when you have too many options? How do you decide what to focus on?

Also, please let me know if you think that some training on getting focused and clear on how to learn a new skill is something you would be interested in. Please comment below.

Cheers for now,

Tony

Mid Year Stock Take

I have been busy….but in a good way!

That’s why I haven’t posted anything in over two weeks.

I mentioned last time that I had had a kind of epiphany and understood exactly what I want to do now.

Well … that’s exactly what I have been working on.

In order to keep myself moving in a positive direction and continually ‘rebooting’ myself so that I am ‘upgraded’ and functioning as I want to …

I have decided to create some self-help programs that might help other people.

The first one will be released in early July and will be all about overcoming stress.

As you know, I’m not a self-help guru or anything.  I genuinely don’t want to be Tony Robbins or Brendon Burchard (as much as I admire both of them!)

I’m just an ordinary bloke who is trying to improve his own life.  Along the way, I think I’ve picked up a few things that might help others.

Particularly in the area of managing stress.

I’ve worked in education in the UK for the past 15 years and that certainly teaches you a thing or two about stress!

Here’s my thinking …

If I force myself to take a leap of faith and produce something that might help other people improve their lives then this should have three very positive outcomes:

1. I will get really clear on what is important in my own life

2. I can share my recent experiences as an ordinary person who has been through it

3. I can make a difference to other people and gain real meaning and purpose

That’s why I am willing to put in the time and effort to create something.

Of course, it’s going to involve some risk.

Firstly, there is the worry … ie: ‘who am I to do this?  Why would anyone listen to me?’

In the end, I have to believe that everyone has something to share.  And in all honesty, I’d rather listen to someone who is normal and will suggest realistic answers that will work in the real world, rather than some expert super-hero who is operating at a much higher level than everyone else.

Secondly, there is the very real worry that no one will be interested.

I’m less worried about that now.

The reason is that there are many people out there looking for solutions.  That’s why people read blogs … including this one.

I have already made a product in the past (Happy New You).  You may have bought it?

I made that just to pull together everything I had learned so far on my journey and I’m pleased that it has helped so many people. I also didn’t really believe it was possible to be able to sell your ideas like that.  But the feedback I have had has been very positive!

But now, I want to really work hard at providing specific solutions to specific problems!

I’m going to continue to use this blog to share everything I am working on in my life.

It really is a great place for me to explore my ideas and share them with a growing audience.  And I am so grateful for you continuing to read these posts!

As it is approaching the half-way point in the year, I thought this would be a good time to share with you what my aims are for the rest of 2015.

So, here is a kind of mid-year ‘stock take’.

 

Aims for the rest of 2015

1. Continue to focus on my health and get weight down to 12 stone

2. Study improvement and develop my motivation, energy, success and happiness

3. Create self-help products and build my business

 

I read recently that the human mind works best in 3s.  We can’t really remember much more than that.  So my 3 are health, improvement, business.

At the end of the year, I am going to see exactly how far I have come in those 3 areas.

I’d love to hear what the 3 key areas you are going to work on and achieve massive improvement in by the end of 2015. Please comment below.

 

Cheers for now,

Tony

Things are changing … and that’s okay


This last week I have learned a huge amount!

Last weekend I went to a marketing mastermind event in the UK.  It was a great experience.  I learned a huge amount, met some great people and now feel energized about the future.

The whole experience has enabled me to be really clear about:

– what I want

– how I’m going to get it

The thing is, I thought it was just going to be about business.  I didn’t expect it to help me be clearer about the whole of my life.

I’m writing this blog because it is helping me document my journey towards a healthy, happy and more authentic me.

But I always had another aim.  I thought it would be great if I were able to turn my own journey into something that would inspire other people.

It seems to me that we all look for meaning in life – and I have found none better than helping others.  It’s the thing that gives me the biggest buzz.

So…back to the marketing event.

How is that going to help?

Well, in a nut shell, it’s all about getting my message out there to as many people as possible.

I have tons of ideas spinning around my head at the moment, all about how I can share my experiences and beliefs on self-development.

I’m going to share these ideas here with you first.

This next week or so, I am going to be throwing myself fully into this and I hope to be back here afterwards, ready to share my new project with you.

 

So…what is the point of this post???Change Bowling Ball Strike Shaking Up for Adapting

I am changing…

and, actually…

so are you.

 

 

 

We are all changing all the time.  As Tony Robbins says “Change is automatic, but progress requires effort”.

I now FULLY understand what he is saying.

We will naturally change (get older, grow up, put on weight, lose strength etc) and this will happen without any input from us, but we can make progress by taking action and fighting against these natural events.

I feel like I am changing as a person.

I genuinely never would have thought that I had anything worth sharing with others.

But the truth is… we all have!  EVERY one of us!

That’s how I’ve changed.

Better than losing weight, being positive and figuring out who I am (and those things are great!) …

… is the understanding that I am worthwhile.  That I have things to share …

… that will help people!

… And SO DO YOU!!

 

This is a shorter post today, because I’m super-excited about the main idea I have to help lots of people.  But I promise to share it with you first!

I’m really interested to know what things you would like to share with world and what is stopping you.  Please comment below and let’s help each other!

Cheers for now,

Tony