Holiday Helps To Reboot

Beach fun couple travel - woman taking photo

I’ve just got back from my summer holiday and I feel ready to really make the most of the rest of the year.

I know lots of people return from their vacation feeling so stressed that they need another one just to recover!

But, to me… as well as seeing a different place and sampling another culture, I totally believe in rest, relaxation and reflection.

And it’s the last of these, reflection. that I want to talk about today.

 

When you have a few days away from the usual day-to-day stresses and challenges of modern life, it gives you time to reflect on what is really important and allows you to see things clearly.

It’s as if you gain a totally new perspective on your life by being able to step out of it for a time.

Here’s what I have realised:

1.  I have had a very productive year so far (having started some fundamental changes in my life and made genuine progress)

2.  I need to keep up what I am doing to really embed the changes I have made and continue the momentum I have

3.  September will be a big month for me – as I launch not one but two self-development training programs that I hope will help other people to enjoy the changes I have already experienced

4.  The rest of this year is going to be about just three things: helping others, getting as healthy and fit as possible and continuing to be as positive and determined to live a better life as possible.

 

I am particularly pleased with the insights I gained when thinking about number 4.  It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the complexity of the modern world and not see things clearly.  But when I sat in the sun and really reflected, it seemed to me so clear that those three things are all that really matter to me.

 

As a simple equation it looks like this:

 

2015 = helping others + health + positivity

 

What I love about such a simple view of life is that it cuts out all the BS and reduces it to a simple and easy to follow set of fundamentals that make every decision so much easier.

Now I just ask myself:  Does the thing I’m thinking of doing bring me closer to my 3 key aims?

Anything that doesn’t fit is quickly discarded or avoided.

Honestly, this simple Life Equation has really helped me!

 

Now, going back to my 4 thoughts…

I will be back on this blog very soon (early September) to give you more details about my two training programs.

I am very excited about these as I believe I will be able to offer real, step-by-step training that will help people to make fundamental changes in their lives.

I promise to share this here with you first before anyone else gets a look in.  I am very lucky to have so many loyal readers of this blog, and I want to thank you all for the overwhelming amount of support and interest I have had from people offering to review these products for me.

Thank you so much for all the emails and kind words.  I have now selected a small number of people to have early-bird access to the training and contacted them to let them know.  I just wanted to thank all of you who offered to help.

Not only will I let you all have the opportunity to get hold of this training as soon as it is finished, but as a loyal blog reader, I will give you the chance to get it at a special low launch rate.

I’ll be back very soon in September to give you all the details!

 

I hope you had a great vacation and have managed to gain clarity on the rest of this year in your own life.

 

Please comment below and let me know your own ‘Life Equation’!

 

Cheers for now,

 

Tony

 

The Mediocrity Trap

Customer service evaluation form with tick on averageA friend asked me a difficult question the other day: “Why aren’t you satisfied with what you’ve got?”

Here’s my answer.

I would like more in my life, not because I am ungrateful and selfish, but because I want to be the very best version of myself that I can.

Then I will be able to help more people and make a difference.  That’s not selfish is it?

But it occurs to me that the reason my friend asked the question is because we have been brain-washed into thinking that if we strive too much then we must be selfish and ungrateful.

I’m sure it starts at school.  We are all encouraged to do well, up to a point.  It’s okay to be ‘quite bright’ as long as you don’t make everyone else feel bad by really succeeding.

That’s why we end up in…

The Mediocrity Trap

This is where you are doing ‘okay’ and really don’t have any reason to moan, but you are hardly living a truly passionate and purposeful life where you feel you are really making a difference.  You are doing…(dreadful word)…FINE.

To me, this is a state that we have to really guard against.

Surely life is about being excited and energised and challenged to be the very best we can, not an ‘okay-ish’, mediocre, reasonable existence.

So I make no apology for striving and wanting to change.  I know that I will make my own life better and everyone else’s life too.  I was meant to shine…

…we all were!  So let’s do it!

Tony Robbins says that if you are excited or scared, then you can change, but you need to worry about being okay.

The other thing to beware of is when you start seeing others as being grasping or careerist maniacs on a mission.  If you think they are trampling over you to get where they want, it may actually be that you are standing still and they are just going past you.  You aren’t in their way, they have just moved forward in their life and you have stayed exactly where you were.

And that’s not their fault is it?

This is why we have to guard against being average.  We are worth more than that.

I know, by definition, not everyone can be above average.  But you are already better than most people because you are unusual enough to care about creating a compelling and wonderful future and taking consistent action to make sure it happens.

Have you noticed that children rarely talk about things being quite good?  To them, everything is ‘Amazing!’ or ‘Rubbish!’  We need to start seeing things with greater clarity and emotional significance and stop wallowing in a grey puddle of mediocre sludge.

NLP To The Rescue!

Luckily, we have Neuro Linguistic Programming to help us.  All you need to do is keep a careful look out for average thoughts and average words.  Try to be aware of moments when you are settling for ‘okay’ and using language that limits you to a ‘satisfactory’ life.

For the next few days, listen to the words other people use and see how limited their expectations are.  Most people are now acting in a defensive mode where they see the world as a scary place and life as a struggle where they can lose what they have.

It’s much better to live like you see life as a game where you have nothing to lose but everything to gain as you aim for an extraordinary life!

You can be playful and committed to achieving goals.  They are not mutually exclusive.

The thing about seeing life is a game is that, just like in chess for example, if you are not doing well, you can reset the board and start again.  You can learn the rules and study strategies to get better.

That’s got to be a much better way to see life than a constant unending struggle where you are always in danger of being crushed.

Switch how you see the world, and life becomes lighter and more full of possibilities instantly!

Back to Gratitude

The reason that I know that I am not selfish and ungrateful is because I have actually started making gratitude a conscious willed choice that I make.

I spend time every day mentally listing all the things that I am grateful for – the skills, experiences, friends, family, hopes, challenges and resources I have that make me feel truly alive.

So I know that I am very thankful for all I have and will be more grateful than most people for the future successes I hope to enjoy.

I would love to hear how you try to avoid the Mediocrity Trap in your life.  What do you do to avoid being distracted by the average herd?  How do you keep true to your mission?  Please comment and let me know.

 

Why saying ‘Thank You’ is so much more than just polite

Depositphotos_22035805_sThere are two reasons I want to thank you!

First, I want to say a big thank you to all those people who liked, shared and re-tweeted my last post about some of the problems with the self-improvement industry.  I also enjoyed receiving your emails and comments too.  It seems that I did manage to connect with something that many people are feeling.

The danger of writing a blog post like Why Is Self-Improvement Total BS? is that it can come across as a negative rant.  As I’m trying to improve myself and develop as a human, I was worried that this would be unhelpful as I would be focusing on a negative.

But… I feel very strongly that I want my development to be real and genuine and not just me ‘brainwashing’ myself into a relentlessly positive and upbeat robot that is incapable of having passionately held beliefs.

That’s why I don’t think it was a negative post (and thankfully, most of you seem to agree!).  If we look honestly at the world and find things that we don’t like then we have three options:

1. Ignore it  (…and carry on.  The ‘That’s Life!  Get over it!’ response)

2. Avoid it   (find alternative solutions or ways around the problem)

3. Change it

In the case of self-improvement, I can’t really do Option 1 (to be honest, I don’t like this option in most cases as it feels like you are giving in and living in someone else’s world)

So, I hope that my article is a mixture of Options 2 and 3.  I am committed to changing my life and working consistently and persistently on developing myself, so the fact that there are a lot of people out there who are only interested in getting you to open your wallet is an issue for me. So I chose to share that with others because I hoped they would have the same thoughts.  And it turned out, you did!

Anyway…

Back to ‘Thank You’

With that said, this week I have found a great way to feel incredibly positive and genuinely content and I really want to share it with you.

I have found the power of Gratitude.

You may have already heard somebody say something along the lines of ‘You need to be grateful for all you have in your life’?

So had I.  And like me, I’m guessing you too had a similar thought:  ‘Yeah right!  Sure!  I’m grateful, okay?  Can you tell me something that might actually be useful now?’

But I have been reading Brendon Burchard’s awesome book “Motivation Manifesto” and he believes 100% in the power of saying ‘thank you’.  This is not just about being polite, although that is definitely a totally cool way to behave!

It is about realising how blessed we are, no matter what our circumstances.  You can have lots of areas of your life that you want to change, but it will help you hugely to spend some time reflecting on the things you are currently happy about in your life (however few things that might seem!)

Or realising that you should be happy about a lot more than you are.  This doesn’t mean ‘settling’ for a second-rate life at all.

The idea is that you switch your perspective from one of deficit to one of abundance.

You stop focusing on what you DON’T have and CAN’T do and switch to what you ALREADY have!

It’s a subtle switch in both how you see yourself and what you expect in the future.

I really have started seeing things from a much more positive and thankful point of view.  I know how lucky I am to be alive, how lucky I am to have the skills, family, friends and opportunities that I enjoy.

And this gives me a sense of control, power, joy and happiness that makes be believe I can do anything.

Seriously…just try this out for 5 minutes every day for the next week and come back and tell me how you feel:

 

List all the things you are grateful for in your life

 

‘Is that it?’ you might be asking.  It sounds such a pointless and hippy, psycho-babble, happy-clappy waste of time.

 

How could that POSSIBLY work?

 

Here’s how…

We spend our lives worrying about what has gone wrong and what might go wrong and this means that so much of energy is wasted on fear, anxiety, regret and paranoia.  So much so, that we end up missing out on many genuinely golden opportunities because our minds are closed to them.

In many ways, we are living in a Defence mode rather than a Growth mode.

We are so worried about LOSING things (possessions, people, status etc) that we forget to look for opportunities to GAIN.

So, seriously…give it a try.  You might be surprised!

 

These prompts might help you:

 

What skills and knowledge do I have that I feel grateful for?

What experiences and opportunities have I had that I really enjoyed?

What people (family, friends and colleagues) do I know who make my life better?

What aspects of my health/fitness make me feel strong and happy?

What little things do I do every day that make me smile?

 

The idea is that just five minutes a day will reboot your mind into a much more positive frame.  You will be seeing things from a better and clearer perspective.  New possibilities will seem to present themselves, which is another way of saying that you will be spotting things that were already there, but you had forgotten to look for!

Give it a go!

And please let me know how you got on.  Comment below, ‘Like’, ‘Share’ and email me at Tony@rebootingme.com with any questions.

Cheers for now,

 

Tony

 

P.S. – The second reason to thank you?  Well…I am really grateful for you taking the time to read this.

It means so much to me!